Judgement and Conviction
by RaspberryDevil
Summary: For Genda, it all starts with a phone call from his friend. But for Kidou it started when he realised his feelings for Fudou. Asking his friend for advice, Kidou hopes that he can find some inner peace. Kidou/Fudou BL


Hey :3 Finally finished this after months. It's shorter than intended but I hope you'll like it nevertheless. I really love these two because they have such a nice dynamic and characterdevelopment~

Have fun :3

* * *

He hasn't told anyone. Neither his teammates nor the person which were close to him. It was a secret, a painful one which was almost unbearable to take, though he was too scared that people would judge him. Judge him according to the things which were precious to him.

His hands moved over the pale skin of the person next to him, down the neck along the fine lines of his body, stopping at the hips. He hesitated to go further although he had done this at least a hundredth times. His eyes, not covered by a pair of glasses at the moment, travelled backwards, meeting the eyes of the other one. "Why did you stop?", that person asked, grasping his hand with his own pale one to guide him downwards, wearing a mocking grin. "Scared? Since when?" "Don't be stupid." He took his hands away, averted his glance and turned around. The other one, realising that it was the wrong moment to tease him, lay his arm around his waist, pressed their bodies together and whispered, with a soft voice you wouldn't expect of him, something in his ear. "Call someone, if you want." And so he did.

* * *

Genda would have expected a lot of things from his friend though they never failed to surprise him. And today was an evening which hold a surprise, bigger than he could handle.

It was 2 in the morning when Genda answered his ringing mobile phone which lay on the night stand next to his bed. "Who is there?", he wanted to know, his voice drained with sleep. "It's Kidou." For a short moment, he thought it was a joke, looked at the clock to prove his assumption before he realised that the person on the line wanted a reaction because it was, indeed, Kidou. "Do you know what time it is?", he asked, arching his brow. "Why do you call me?" "I need your opinion." It was still hard to admit that it was really his former captain which didn't make it better that it was 2 a.m. and that Genda was too tired for something like this. And he was going to tell him exactly this.

"Is it that important that you - " "I slept with Fudou."

Through the receiver Kidou could hear a thud, followed by a gasp. "You did what?" And this was how Genda's misery began. "It's complicated." Of course it was. Everything concerning Fudou was not easy to understand. "So why did you call me?" It was the easiest question of that evening; that's why the answer followed immediately without hesitation. "Endou doesn't know anything about it, Gouenji wouldn't understand the logic and Sakuma would get an heart-attack." Agreeing with the first part, Genda sat down on the edge of his bed, switching a lamp on. "I guess you were drunk?", he started the discussion, choosing the most cliché point which came up to his mind even though he knew that it didn't suit Kidou. But it was the only possibility when he thought of the situation. "I'm barely 18, this means not allowed to." Right. How could he forget? "I guess that Fudou was drunk then?" "He's also - " "Kidou, we're talking about Fudou", the goalkeeper said, raising his voice a bit. "He wasn't." Silence spread between them and Genda was not sure how to stop it. He knew Kidou since a long time but he would never have expect him to act so... reckless. It was not the fact that he slept with a boy or that this boy was Fudou but that Kidou did it without being in any serious relationship. He wasn't the type of guy who gave in to his hormones nevertheless he submitted himself to Fudou? There was no way that he would do something like that without... Genda stopped his thoughts for a moment – could it be that...? No, he thought, that would be impossible. But without thinking, the question already slipped from his lips.

"Kidou... are you and Fudou... dating?"

After voicing out this thought, he felt stupid – it sounded more ridiculous than in his mind. "Smart guy, I have to say." Genda almost missed the voice in the background and due to Kidou's breath which muffled the sound he hadn't recognised it. But the laugh which followed the statement widened his eyes a bit. It was Fudou. Fudou was with Kidou at this moment. At fucking 2 am. So this meant they... Genda shook his head to chase any further thoughts away. What should he say? That he didn't care? Genda was not sure about it – did he care?

"Kidou, I won't judge you", he said almost hesitantly.

"Ah, thank you." Genda hated the phone – not being able to see the other's reaction made him unsure about his answer. But to say anything further was close to lying and this wouldn't help either of them. "Sorry for disturbing you." "It's fine." No, it wasn't fine but Genda was sleepy and such a topic was to serious for this hour and anyway, why couldn't he have told him that sooner? Sighing, he hung up and went to bed again, trying to get some sleep. Needless to say that it was not successful.

* * *

"I guess you won't kick me out then", Fudou teased Kidou, knowing that the other one wouldn't have done it anyway. "Shut up and go to sleep." Fudou did as he was told, though not without stealing a kiss from his boyfriend first. And Kidou didn't mind it at all because the burden on his heart wasn't that heavy anymore.

* * *

"Genda, are you even listening?", Sakuma asked his friend, waving with his hand in front of his face. The young boys were sitting in a café, talking about different things when Gendas thoughts drifted to the telephone call. He hasn't told Sakuma because, in his opinion, Kidou should tell him about this rather difficult topic in person. Until then Genda intended to keep it to himself. "I'm sorry, what did you say?", he asked out of politeness rather than interest. "Endou and Natsumi are dating, can you imagine that? He is the last one I would have expected to date her... or anyone else", Sakuma said, crossing his arms in front of his chest which caused Genda to smirk. The annoyance of the boy was a result of the break-up with his girlfriend and Genda could very well understand him because the same happened to himself a week ago. "Such a lucky guy", was Gendas only answer before he took a sip of his drink. "I know. Though I have to admit that I think the same about Kidou – he thinks so much about strategy and doesn't show any interest in woman." The goalkeeper didn't know if Sakuma realised the ambiguousness in his last words, nevertheless he choked on his drink when he mentioned Kidou. "Oi, are you alright?" Worriedly, he patted his back, not stopping until the coughing decreased. "Yes, I'm fine." Sakuma wasn't convinced however he didn't say anything which resulted in silence. And it was Genda who broke it.

"Say, Sakuma?" "What is it?" "Well... what do you think of... homosexuals...", Genda asked, feeling kind of awkward. Sakuma raised an eyebrow, surprised about his question. "Do you want to confess something?" The goalkeeper blinked confused before he blushed out of embarrassment. "No! It's just... What if one of the people I knew were? It's just what I don't know how I should react. Of course I still like them but somehow I feel uneasy." Sakuma shifted in his seat, looked around to see if someone was listening – it was a topic he rather discussed elsewhere. Genda – realising his friend's uneasiness – decided to pay their drinks and invited the other one to his place. It was a relief, maybe even for both of them and after agreeing, Sakuma was surprised that Genda also paid for him; maybe it was just an excuse for talking so nonchalantly about intimidations, he thought.

* * *

When they were at Genda's house, they went to the goalkeeper's room and seated themselves. Sakuma sat down on the bed and took a look around while his friend went to the kitchen. When he came back, he served his friend a cup of tea before he sat down next to him. "And? What did you want to tell me?", he asked, taking a sip of the tea (his favourite flavour, he realised). He was still uncomfortable with the topic but thought that Genda didn't need to know. That he already did know hadn't come to his mind yet.

"I was just thinking... What would happen if you like a guy?" "Why? Do you want to convert?" It was meant as a joke, not a bad one, just to ease the tension. It was not funny, though. Not for Genda who was confronted with a problem which didn't exist before. Who thought he wouldn't keep doubts about such a relationship. Who considered himself as open-minded and who just wasn't. It was really frustrating. Sakuma sighed. It seemed like a difficult topic. "You know, some things can only be accepted when you experienced them for a while." "This is the problem: I know them", Genda interfered and was immediately scolded for that. "Don't interrupt me! Anyway, you don't need to accept things. I think they, whoever they are, would be happy enough if you tolerate it." These wise words coming from his friends surprised him but after a short moment he just smiled. "Thank you Jirou." "No problem." Not until they said farewell and Genda closed the door behind him, both realised that he had called Sakuma by his first name for the first time since ages.

* * *

"Oi, Yuuto?! Are you listening?!" "Yes", he answered, definitely not listening as he flipped trough his schoolbooks. "Don't lie to me", Fudou said annoyed, awfully aware that his boyfriend – hell, he loved this word – wasn't listening. "Did you know that Genda and Sakuma are going out?" Silence. After ninety-eight seconds – yes, Fudou counted them, it was no big deal – Kidou turned around and looked at the other boy in shock. "What?" Laughing, Fudou leant backwards, his back resting against the sofa. "Just kidding, just kidding", he smirked but continued with a more serious voice. "Stop doing whatever you do and listen to me." "Fudou, I need to finish these assignments, so please, give me twenty minutes", he said, turning around to deal with his papers again.

"Alright, but just twenty minutes, no more nor less." The use of his last name was the only reason why Fudou gave in, not wanting to upset his lover who wouldn't allow Akio to touch him if he taxed his patience all too much. And he could wait at least this much.

* * *

He kept his word and twenty minutes later, (actually it were twenty-two but Fudou wasn't able to complain since Kidou's lips on his mouth felt too good to say anything) they lay on the sofa with Kidou on top of Fudou. "You should talk with him", Fudou said eventually while leaving kisses along his jaw, stopping at his neck to suck on the skin. Kidou just hummed absently, more concerned that Fudou left marks he couldn't hide that easily than anything else. "I'm serious." It was hard for Kidou to take his advise seriously when Fudou's pale hands wandered under his shirt in a first attempt to undress him. Not that he didn't consider this, no, but these hands were good at distracting him.

"It's annoying when I'm not allowed to touch you in public." Irritated, Kidou wanted to tell him that it didn't matter if Sakuma and his other teammates knew about them or not because public affection between males or in general wasn't something people liked to witness. However he stopped himself and instead took off his glasses. By now Fudou had given up on his boyfriend's shirt and took his own one off. Kidou followed his example, tossing his shirt aside before he busied himself with Fudou's belt. "Besides, I would rather – " Fudou was not able to finish his sentence because Kidou stopped his current intent to shut him up with a short, emotionless kiss on the lips. "Seriously, do you want to continue talking about Sakuma while were doing it or will you be quite?" "Is that a serious question?", he grinned while looking at his slight blushing boyfriend. "Akio, damn!" "Alright, alright, I'll stop if you talk to him", he said, wrapping his arms around Kidou's neck. With a sigh, he gave in. "Fine, fine", he mumbled against the other's lips before they meet in another kiss...

* * *

"Sakuma, can we talk?"

Until now, he hadn't been suspicious; after all it was not weird that one of his best friends wanted to spent the day with him, playing some football at the river bank. Though when he thought about it, he probably should have been because it had been a long time since they had done this. But he had been too happy to care about this little detail – playing with Kidou was a rare occasion which he was grateful for. He was a genius after all. However when they took a break, sitting next to each other on the grass and Kidou asking him this, his attention rose. "Sure. What is it?"

"It's about Fudou." This was new to him. After everything which had happened, they weren't friends, not at all, but they started to warm up to each other and now, in their teenage years, they were able to talk to each other without starting to shout. However it didn't prevent Sakuma to frown as soon as he heard his name – a gesture which caused Kidou to weaver. "What about him?" The irritation on his face was clearly visible, showing Kidou that he should be careful with his choice of words. "What would you do if he would go out... With a boy, I mean." It didn't help much to decrease the confusion yet it caused the young boy to say something.

"Has Genda talked to you?" Now it was Kidou's turn to get confused. "What?" "He was worried about his friends who were gay because he didn't know how to react. So he asked me. At least I know why he didn't mention who it was", Sakuma muttered to himself. Genda was one of the few people who was actually able to calm him down after one of Fudou's teasing and he also knew when to mention him and when not. And Sakuma probably wouldn't have given him a straight answer if he had told him that it was Fudou who he was talking about. He really knew his friend.

This might be easier than he thought, Kidou told himself, starting to question him again. "And what do you think?" "I don't mind", he simply said, but when Kidou looked at him, unsure if he should believe this, he corrected himself. "Well, that they are both boys. It's not wrong, I guess. Maybe a bit weird 'cause it's unusual. I mean, I don't know much people who are openly gay." "But?" The striker wasn't able to suppress a laughter. "Kidou. We're talking about Fudou. You know that we are not on good terms." Oh yes, he was well aware of this. And yet he wanted an answer. "He could go out with anyone and it would bother me somehow, but it's not my decision."

Now or never, he thought.

"And what would you say if I was going out with him?" He looked directly at Sakuma who immediately knew that this was a serious question. No joking around, no trick question – he wanted his true opinion. "Well..." This was hard. Suddenly, he knew how Genda must have felt. "It's hard to imagine that." He averted his eyes, glancing at the sky as if the answer was written there. "Really?" A laugh followed. "Yes. You spend so much time with strategies, it's hard to think about you and a girl – ", he coughed slightly before correcting himself. "I mean boyfriend." "I see..." "However it's not unrealistic. You understand each other very well and if you like him" – he paused a moment to remind himself that they were theoretically speaking – "I guess, it would be fine." Silence hung between them for a moment, before he continued.

"Not that you actually and anyway why – " "Fudou and I are dating."

Right away without any further distraction; Kidou thought it was alright to tell him. Just like he told Genda that he slept with Fudou. Quick and easy. Sakuma looked at him, blinking, before he opened his mouth, not able to utter any sound. He closed his mouth again, repeating this motion a few times, before he was able to say anything "What?!" Kidou was relieved about his friend's reaction – it could have been worse.

"I'm sorry, I should have told you sooner." "That's not...", Sakuma answered, trying to sort his thoughts. One of his best friend's was dating, even loving someone and he hasn't realised it? Two days ago he was talking about Kidou and his interest in dating someone with Genda, thinking that this won't happen all too soon and suddenly their friend confessed? The young boy was slightly baffled. If he tells Genda about this, he will – Sakuma paused his thoughts for a second. Could it be that Genda had been talking about Fudou and Kidou? It would explain why he was so serious about it. But why hadn't he told him?

Sighing deeply, he took a deep breath before he looked at Kidou who was expecting some sort of reaction besides his confusion. "... If... if you're in a relationship with him... it's odd, though I have no saying in that... But seriously, Fudou?" At the last part, he cracked a smile, trying to cheer him or maybe even himself up. "Well..." Kidou scratched his cheek, not sure how to explain his own feelings. It just happened, and in the end, he was happy. So it was fine. Fudou wasn't so bad after all; he had his own charm. "Are you fine?", Kidou finally asked, scared that he might have shocked his friend with his statement all too much. "I guess so, don't worry", he assuredly said, smiling at his friend. "Thank you."

Sakuma hesitated a moment before he voiced another question. "Going to tell the others?" The brunet thought about it for a moment before he shook his head. "No, not yet. Maybe later." "I see... Well, after this shock, I need some distraction." The young boy stood up, stretching himself before he picked up the football and sent his friend another smile. "A second round?" A smile was on Kidou's lips now before he stood up as well. "Of course."

Maybe it has been a good idea to tell his best friends – Kidou's relief was more than enough to forget everything else, even if it was just for a short moment.

* * *

Kidou brushed through the brown hair, smiling at his lover who lay next to him in bed. Talking to his friends had helped him, and even though he was not able to tell his teammates yet, he felt better. Fudou said nothing, allowing his boyfriend's gesture, closing his eyes to enjoy this little moment. If there was anything else he loved besides the times they slept together, it were the moments of complete silence, when Kidou treated him with such a gentleness that he felt at ease. "I love you, Akio." Opening his eyes, he looked at Kidou, smirking when he saw this gentle, honest expression on his face. "I know", he answered before he wrapped his arms around him to press his lover against his chest. Kidou buried his face in his shirt, inhaling his scent, a mix of the tea they drank before and his shampoo, so sweet that he wondered if this was really Fudou who was besides him.

"However this won't change the fact that I won't allow you to kiss nor to touch me in public."

"Oh, come on", Fudou whined, with enough indignation for Kidou to notice. Though he didn't care much about it – oddly enough he thought that it was kind of cute. He just smiled looking up to catch a glimpse of his lover, and since he was not wearing his glasses, Fudou could glance at these beautiful red eyes which stopped his sulking before a smile crept over his face. And soon his hands found its way under Kidou's shirt, sending shivers down his spine and causing him to call his name out of slight confusion.

"If that is so, then you'll owe me something."

"Ah, and what would this be?", Kidou asked, knowing the answer as soon as he felt his breath near his ear and a smirk as Fudou pressed his lips against Kidou's neck. "Let me think about it", Akio hummed, closing his eyes for a moment. Kidou waited patiently, used to his teasing and maybe even enjoying it a little bit. "Catching up on everything you refuse me in public would be a good start", he finally said, grinning at Kidou because he was sure that he wouldn't say no; and he was right. With a hum, he wrapped his arms around Fudou's neck, causing him to utter a pleased sound.

"If you want it, when I guess I can't help it." It were we last words which were spoken before Fudou decided to claim Yuuto for the night. After all it was one of the rare times when Kidou devoted himself to him without any complaint. Fudou hated the thoughts about 'acceptance' and 'judgement' which clouded Yuuto's mind, hated how he worried all the time about it. He didn't worry about things like that, simply because he didn't care about the other's opinion. He never did. Kidou was different though. He was the prodigy, a genius playmaker who was friends with everyone. He had a reputation and even if Fudou didn't understand why their relationship should cause any harm to it – after all his friends respected him for who he was, and his love interest shouldn't change this – he tolerated it. Because Yuuto was the only one who mattered to him.

And Kidou?

Even though he was still unsure about their relationship, scared of the other's judgement, he was at least sure of one thing.

Fudou might be an idiot sometimes, but he loved him. And only what he thought, only what he felt, mattered to him in this moment.

Nothing else.

~End~

* * *

Did I mention that I wanted to write KDFD Fluff? Hah, it never works /D Alright, I leave the fluff to other writers. Also the lemon. I tried to write some but didn't get far, so I stopped. Well, I give you some angst, even in the future. Bear with me till then. Nothing planned for future fics though.

Bye for now :3


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